8 Reasons to Get Your Man to Try CrossFit September 20th, 2013 by Mary Kay Holmes
Recently I started CrossFit. The weird thing about CrossFit is that once you start doing it, you want to do it more and more. Soon I plan on debuting my new “Serena Williams on steroids” physique at a beach near you. In the meantime, I look and feel exactly the same, but I spend way more time on the web reading about WODs and looking at photos of CrossFit men in crazy competitions–these dudes are NUTS.
As I watched a video of a guy doing handstands on medicine balls, I realized there really is something to the 10 benefits of CrossFit. Not only do they transform your body, but they can turn you into a really awesome boyfriend/husband. I’ll be signing your men up at the end of the article, so keep it single file, please.
1. STAMINA : Remember the last time you took your significant other with you to Vegas to meet up with your girlfriends and their men? Your guy slouched around and complained about how tired he was, how hot it was, how many bags he was carrying while you shopped…CrossFit men don’t do this. Drinking a bottle full of protein powder with chia seeds and dressed in comfortable fitness pants, your dude won’t crash like the other guys. Check his pocket on any given day and there will be a power bar in it. Remember, he got up at 6 a.m. to work out this morning; he had a green drink and was in bed by 9 p.m. last night while the other guys drank too much and ate Taco Bell.
2. FLEXIBILITY : That sexy guy in yoga with no shirt on? That’s him. Not only does he make your girlfriends swoon when he rocks his Warrior Pose, but the Ashwini Mudra Asana takes on a new meaning when you can peek over at his shoulder dent while you engage.
3. COORDINATION : Your sister calls and asks you to babysit your 5 year old niece so she can go somewhere and consume alcohol and a hot meal, but you have plans with your beau. No problem! Not only will he entertain your niece for hours doing cartwheels and handstands in the back yard, but you can play Candy Crush and drink wine since he’s driving.
4. AGILITY : Hipster College roommate is having a kickball/ultimate frisbee party in the park and asks you and your fox to join. Sure, you aren’t so good at either, but that doesn’t matter anymore. Once you show up with Mr. CrossFit, no one will care if you play at all, since they will be fighting over him for their teams. As he jams across the field, leaping into the air to catch the frisbee like a bandana dog, you can sit under a tree Instagramming hot photos of him while you sip a Miller 64.
5. BALANCE : Suddenly changing the little tiny lightbulb in your antique chandelier doesn’t seem so hard–he can put a chair on top of a stool and balance on his pinky toe. In fact, it’s a little dusty up here, should he go ahead and take care of it? Of course! Then when you are done, honey, why don’t you climb down from there and we can head outside and re-enact the lift from Dirty Dancing? Hopefully it’s raining. We may get super dirty and need a bath. Bummer (wink).
6. POWER : Jean Val Jean* didn’t summon that super human strength from nowhere, he towed logs through the muck and swam through the sea with chains tied to his neck–just like your boyfriend at his last Crazy CrossFit Courage Course! If you ever happen to get trapped beneath a horse drawn carriage or fallen redwood in the forest, your beast will launch that thing off you in no time flat. Enjoy your superhero, and let him carry you off to safety. Hopefully there is a comfortable place for two to, uh, lay down and recover near by.
7. STRENGTH AND SPEED : If there is ever a zombie apocalypse, you will need this man on your team. As soon as someone said “Zombie!” you’d be slung over his shoulder and galloped across town on the back of a gazelle like runner who scales brick walls without pausing. Next breath you’d be on a rooftop with a machine gun and snacks (CrossFit men are always eating, so never fear, vegan power balls and coconut water are always available).
8. CARDIO ENDURANCE and ACCURACY : Let’s be honest, this entire list points to the obvious fact that your man is gonna rock your world in bed. You know that scene in Mr. and Mrs. Smith where he lifts her off the ground and pins her against the wall while they tear each other to pieces? It’s all you, girl. Always wanted a guy who could hold you up in the shower so you didn’t fall on the bathroom floor like the super awkward scene in Girls where her parents tumble out of the bathtub like upside down Weeble Wabbles? Dreams come true! I don’t think I need to define the terms ENDURANCE and ACCURACY either–I’ll let your creative minds run wild with those. What I do know is if any woman described the two things she wished she could inject into the sex she is already having, it would be those two things. Am I right? Hmmm…if only there was a way to make that happen…
Now who’s ready to get their partner enrolled in that new CrossFit Box down the street? That’s what I thought. I’ll see you there–hopefully with a huge smile on your face.
*For those of you who missed the Jean Val Jean reference, here is a bonus Hugh Jackman video for you...
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Mary Kay Holmes
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Adam & Amanda
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